Real Life is Not a Romance Novel

Picture this: a beautiful, busty maiden sits on a beach, her lustrous locks blowing in the magical salt breeze, and then he appears. His chiseled jaw juts toward her like the side of a rugged, majestic mountain; his eyes pierce right to her soul and set her heart ablaze! They fall madly in love right that second and, well… fade to black. That’s the picture of perfect romance, right? Well,  I have another picture for you: two ordinary, elderly people sitting on a park bench, holding hands. It’s raining and cold, and they only have one scrawny umbrella, but they’re smiling like none of that matters. It probably didn’t happen overnight, and it definitely didn’t happen instantly, but it’s better. It’s real.

Nowadays, we live in a culture of instant gratification. We’re not used to having to wait, but we are used to settling for whatever comes first instead of what might be worth more. You can get Starbucks coffee at McDonald’s, for crying out loud! What does this have to do with romance? Well, if we return to the romance novel example, you might notice that most of those couples fall in “love” after only a few meetings—or worse, a few minutes—and, while there may be trials along the way to happy marriage (or great sex), they never question their love. Does that make any sense? I don’t think so. Why do they believe it, then? Simple: that’s what we’ve been taught. After all, why wait when you can get the “same” thing in thirty seconds? Again, simple: because you can’t.

Why do I say that, you ask? Well, think about the Starbucks coffee. It’s expensive because of their standards: they train their employees to be coffee experts; their beans are top quality; and they believe in the best user experience possible. You can’t get the same thing at McDonald’s, not really, and that’s why theirs is cheaper. Is it easier and faster to get coffee from McDonald’s? Yes. Is it as satisfying? No. The same goes for love. It’s silly to think a lifelong connection can be forged in one magic moment. You don’t buy a suit off the rack and expect it to fit: you take the time to get it tailored so it fits you perfectly. If we’re willing to do that for clothing, why not love? Why do we settle for the first pretty face that comes along? Why can’t we suffer through a few more friends of a friend? Why can’t we wait a few more years before we get married so we can be really sure it’s the true thing before we think we can spend the rest of our lives with that person?

I don’t have the answers to those questions, sadly; all I can do is shake my head and hope that people will wise up sooner or later. As far as I’m concerned, people like that can have their “fairy tale romance” and all the heartbreak it tends to bring. I’m perfectly willing to wait around until the real thing comes along, even if it means if it means I’ll never experience the joy of lust at first sight. I’ll pass on the magic moment: real love brings a lifetime of them.